the moon

by holden

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most songs are written about someone in my life who is helping me grow. i hope i am helping them grow too. other songs are of splitting, from one gender to another. from one person to another. always two, never one. all are quiet though because i've spent this year so far by myself being a hermit in my room.


released July 13, 2017

album cover belongs to kat kirby



all rights reserved
Track Name: mist
i only see
its boundaries
i feel small
your presence feels like mist
Track Name: october 27, 2001
digging inside to find the wall
slow moving
dam does not break but shapeshifts into a new person
hidden behind you and i and everyone we know
turning my face
do you see me now?
splitting my name?

fragments found inside hospital rooms of me of you?
when you couldn't move?
i removed myself when the night fell
I don't remember when I slept I just remember I split into one- two.
a void deeper than I know
walls containing fluorescent lights
hospital hallways covered in white
my mother crying behind worried eyes
my father frozen in time
i split into one- two.
Track Name: you
water flows out from me
and into you
then back to me
splitting into two
of the moon
im not seen until you-
the sky turns black and then there's you
7 points on a star one pointing towards
the woods
what seemed like empty space was actually elven stars
creating a bridge to you
Track Name: shapeshifter
sighing everytime we kiss
i miss
feeling the places and spaces you touch
that no one has ever attempted to touch
and water fills me up and pours forming rivers
that your fingers swim in
calling me in

and my breathing ceases when you're looking in my direction
mossy green eyes almost drowning but not yet
use my eclipses as something to hold onto
i hope i'm something that you can hold onto
is fire something that you can hold onto?
(im a shapeshifter and ill shapeshift into anything you can hold onto)
Track Name: just the birds
the birds
just the birds
just the birds
just the birds
ring in my ear
and you
ring in my ear
my ears
they long for the touch of your crystalline voice
the sounds you make when i say things your being is quite not ready to hear
im quite not ready to bare life without you
i knew since the first i was quite not ready for the last
time moves slow now like a dream and everything starts to become one continuous moment to moment of your sounds
when you laugh or the sound of your smile
the sound of you smile
feels like when im taking a shower after a long day and nestling in bed
i want to nestle into you
my love
i didnt know what other way to say it
waking up
hearing the birds
and hearing you.
Track Name: did
i lose myself and become a boy
i find myself becoming a boy
sometimes i love you like a boy does
im scared to be myself sometimes because
the why's "you aren't this way all the time"

cause half the time i am asleep
someone else comes in to be me
for you and you and you and you
this is not new
just new to you
Track Name: chi town
silence sounds like
silence sounds like
silence sounds like
me underneath the high ceilings of a library
student study
silence sounds like footsteps
and ac
the hum of air vents
silence sounds like this pen
silence feels like like birds chirping
in my chest
sometimes it can feel like...hollow
underneath the ground is where i lay my body to feel the silence
like when i'm with you and your friends in a city i've never been to before
Track Name: aquarius baby
thoughts stop drop to my stomach
and it feels like an ocean
my body sways as if swimming
in a realm that is clearly not water
you're clearly not water
when chunks of time are raped from your hands

thoughts stop drop to my groin
cloudy eyes grow numb permeating
my body starts to lose its sense of focus
and i start to fall
but my breath picks me up
i am fragmenting but you pick me up
and gather the pieces

thoughts stop drop to my chest
bringing me back to where i was left
waiting to leave this heavy humid room
suffocating from the fumes
but feeling release when smoking you

aquarius baby you're clearly not water