if bears were friends with ducks

by holden

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"i came to the mountains
to avoid hearing
the sound of waves.
lonesome now in another way-
wind in the pine forest"
-zen master ryokan


released June 6, 2016

album art made by yaneisy reyes



all rights reserved
Track Name: alaska
never been to alaska
but i love to wear your hat and
your hair is really soft and
thank you for the cigarette and
i hope i didn't bother you
for making you stay up on coup
to see the sun rise
Track Name: ouroboros
yellow words appear under you
imitating what you say
white walls white corridors
your voice fades into the soundscape

a different language is spoken
but facial expressions are all the same

lying naked and waiting
listening to a song
that comes from a radio
in a world made of pixels

the same stories repeat themselves
over and over again
are you not tired of them?
Track Name: oh the humanity!
tired eyes
bright screens
a tight jaw lingers throughout the day
as feelings of anxiety permeate through my body
i create resistance toward this moment

again the light brightens on my device
i scroll
my thumb muscles get a work out
distant hum of something
sounds like a motorcycle
are you playing a game again?

too much noise
too much activity
but still bored

all there is is sugar in my fridge, my body
old movies play
no longer as exciting as they used to be
looking for new ways to entertain myself/ ignore the anxiety?
this is just what we all do

too much noise
too much activity
but still bored
Track Name: dumb 1
i need you to see
what you meant to me
i still cry over you
my heart has broken in two

but i need to move on
because you did me wrong
leave with no resentments
over you because of the dent
that i felt inside
when you did not care as much as i
but maybe i just need to chill out
im sorry that i cared too much about (you)

i still remember when
you came to my bed (room)
and told me my body was not mine
im dumb for believing you that time
Track Name: lightbulb
as a light
i don't give off much
but a chain hangs around my neck
keeping me in place
what is my place?
and why must i be kept there if my light is not as bright as you need it to be?
Track Name: it's all love
i love you and i miss you
but this space is for the best
tryna getchu out of my head
can't get this pain off my chest

it's so cold in this room without you

every time i look into your eyes
i know i'll be alright
cause i receive what you give to me
it's all love, it's all light